Why you should write a Will when you have children

Why having children is the biggest trigger

No life change makes a will more important than having children. Your children depend on you — for care, for support, and for the decisions you make on their behalf. A will is how you answer the two hardest questions a parent can face: who would care for my children if I died, and who would look after what I leave them?

What a will does for your children

A will lets you:

• appoint guardians who will care for your children if you cannot;
• decide who should manage money or property left for your children until they are old enough;
• provide for your children’s care and education — including through a trust if that is appropriate;
• record your wishes about their upbringing, culture and values; and
• avoid leaving these decisions to the court or to family disagreements.

What happens without a will

If both parents die without a will, the consequences are serious:

• guardianship is decided by the court, based on who applies and what the court thinks is in the children’s best interests — not necessarily who you would have chosen;
• the children’s share of the estate passes under the intestacy rules, often to a guardian or family member to manage;
• there may be delays while arrangements are made; and
• families can end up in conflict at the worst possible time.

A will cannot prevent every dispute, but it removes most of the uncertainty — and it makes sure your children are cared for by people you chose.

Children from earlier relationships

If you have children from an earlier relationship, or your partner does, the balancing act is harder. Stepchildren are not always treated the same as biological or adopted children for legal purposes, and providing for a new partner while protecting your children’s interests needs careful thought. A will that simply leaves everything to your partner can leave your children with nothing if your partner later makes their own different choices.

Blended families are exactly the situation where professional advice is worth the cost — and where a carefully structured will (often using a trust) can protect everyone.

What to include

When you have children, your will should cover:

• guardians, and backups, for children under 18;
• who manages money left for your children — this can be the same person as the guardian, or someone separate;
• how and when your children receive their inheritance — a trust can hold it until they reach an age you choose;
• provision for your children’s care, education and wellbeing;
• specific wishes about their upbringing, culture and values; and
• an executor who will carry all of this out.

Common mistakes

Parents often assume things that are not true:

• “my partner will get everything and the children will be fine” — that is not guaranteed, especially in blended families;
• “the children will automatically be cared for by family” — guardianship is decided, not assumed;
• “I’ll write a will later” — later can easily become too late;
• “one will covers both parents” — each parent needs their own; and
• “a will made when they were babies is still fine” — children grow, and your plans should too.

Practical steps

Around the birth or adoption of a child:

• make or update your will;
• appoint guardians and backups, and ask them first;
• decide how and when your children will inherit;
• review the will at milestones — school, teenagers, young adults;
• update it after separation, remarriage or the birth of more children; and
• tell your executors and guardians where the will is kept.

The bottom line

Having children is the clearest possible reason to have a will. It protects who cares for them, who manages what they inherit, and how your wishes for their upbringing are respected. It is one of the most loving and practical things a parent can do. Our guide on guardians and guide on updating your will cover the details.