How to Write Down the Values You Hope Will Be Remembered

Values are easiest to remember when they appear in stories. A word such as kindness, fairness or perseverance becomes clearer when it is connected to a meal, a promise, a repaired object or a time someone was welcomed.

Choose values you can show

Start with three values that appear in your daily choices. Do not aim for a list of admirable words; choose the ones you can illustrate honestly.

Find one real scene for each value

For hospitality, you might describe a crowded table. For reliability, a promise kept. For curiosity, a skill you kept learning. The scene gives the value warmth and shape.

Acknowledge influence and change

Values are often learned from whānau, friends, workmates and experience. Name the influence where appropriate, but do not claim a whole family or culture speaks with one voice. It is also fine to describe values that changed over time.

Keep the language personal

Use “I tried to…” or “I came to value…” rather than telling others how they should live. An honest record leaves room for another reader’s perspective.

Link values to planning

A values record can sit alongside practical estate planning, but it does not replace a will or legal advice. For decisions about a will, trusts, relationship property, Māori land or family circumstances, speak with a qualified New Zealand lawyer.

Frequently Asked Questions

Which values should I start with?

Choose values visible in your ordinary behaviour, such as care, fairness, humour, responsibility or curiosity.

How can I avoid sounding self-congratulatory?

Use specific stories, include uncertainty and acknowledge help from others.

Can values change?

Yes. Recording how your views developed can make the account more useful and honest.

Should I include family traditions?

Yes, where they explain your own experience and can be shared respectfully.

Is this a legal document?

No. It is personal writing and does not replace a valid will or professional legal advice.

Can I record it in audio?

Yes. An audio reflection can preserve your voice and can be labelled with a date and topic.